Yes Carpe Diem!

     Warning: Ummm. . . if you don't like your kids or you don't enjoy being a mom, you may not want to read this. This may sound silly, but sometimes I'm afraid to say how much I love being a mom.  I hear too many people complaining about it and I don't want to make them feel bad (or be accused of lying). I really don't think I am better than them in any way.  I love all kids, but especially my own. I like being with my kids! I enjoy having them around.  I realized I was different when I was a teenager and I would choose a babysitting job over hanging out with friends.  And then again a few years later when I worked at a pre-school/daycare center and one of the moms asked me how in the world I could do that day in and day out. The truth is I loved it and would have kept coming back even if they didn't pay me.  I loved those kids SO much.  I still remember the first day that one mom dropped off her little girl as if it were yesterday. The poor girl cried and cried. No one could get through to her. She curled up in the fetal position and hid underneath the coats hanging against the wall.  I got down next to her and whispered something like this in her ear, "You miss your mommy don't you.  I know she loves you so much and will be back for you after work.  I get to be your teacher and I promise you that I will love you too and try to treat you just the way your mommy would."  She looked up at me, stopped crying, and reached up her hands.  I kept my promise.
     There is a blog that has been going around called, "Don't Carpe Diem".  The author talks about how much it bugs her when the old women at the grocery store tell her to treasure every moment while her kids are little.  This philosophy makes her feel stressed out, because she isn't really enjoying every moment and then she feels like a bad mom.  I can understand that it may not work for her and many other women that loved her article, but I just want to say that it does work for me.  Those reminders that the time goes by fast and to treasure every moment have truly been a blessing in my life.  When someone loses a child, they always advise others, "Hug your children a little tighter," and "Give them an extra kiss tonight." Just the other night when my husband and I were mentioning something that was hard to do with little kids, my mom lovingly said, "Just remember to enjoy it. They are only little once." I love this kind of advice and I try to follow it.  

     A fellow blogger posted this comment, "When you are in the trenches of it, it can be hard. Who wants to hear it right?  Well, I learned early when my oldest was diagnosed with a life threatening illness that we were only guaranteed today.  This moment. That's it. So I stopped getting caught up in the 'making it to bed time' and enjoyed my kids. So they make messes, break things, and throw tantrums.  This too shall pass and quickly I may add."

     There is a story of a man burdened down with his heavy load, staring down at the floor of an elevator.  When an older and wiser man walks into the elevator and says, "It is better to look up."  Here is a link to the complete story.

     Now he could have responded bitterly how this old man has no idea what he's going through and has just forgotten how hard life is or he can humbly take the loving advice from someone who can see the bigger picture.

     I feel like the women at the grocery store are like this wise and wonderful man reminding us that, "It is better to look up."

     Looking up, to me, means not getting caught up in the here and now and opening are hearts and minds to the bigger picture.

     On one of my really hard days as a mother, my husband wasn't home and I was quite anxious for bedtime.  I was irritable and grumpy, and all the kids were crying.  I put them all in their beds with no hugs, no kisses, no story time and went in my room, locked my door, laid in bed and cried.  This is not the kind of mother I wanted to be.  I took some deep breaths and said a prayer.  And my loving Father in Heaven touched my heart as He always does.  He helped me to see how uptight I was being. I let go of the frustrations and stress of the day.  I went back out into the battle zone with the armor of peace that only comes from up above. The kids were all still crying, but I didn't let it bother me or stress me out.  I just picked up a book and started reading.  One by one they came to listen and we cuddled and read for a good half hour.  We prayed, kissed and hugged and everyone (including myself) went to bed peaceful and happy.  It is better to look up. You will feel less guilt and more fulfillment as a mother if you allow yourself to let go of the little things and enjoy your children.

     So let's say you hate changing poopy diapers. Every time you have to change one, you are hurting yourself by thinking (or saying out loud) how much you hate changing poopy diapers. Or, you could change (yes, you have the power to do that) your attitude and remind yourself that motherhood=sacrifice and that when you are serving your own children, you are serving God.  

Mark 9:36-37 

36 And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them,

37  Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me.

The Savior said, "When you receive one of these, you receive me."
     That really hit me.  When I am receiving my children in love and serving them, it is as though I am doing it to my Savior and God. He loves these children so much and has entrusted them to us.  I want to love them and treasure them the way He would if He were here.
     The Don't Carpe Diem blog also implies that it is impossible to enjoy doing something that is hard. I don't agree with that at all.  I know that motherhood is hard and challenging, but I do enjoy it. I enjoy it very much! Yes, even the wrestling match trying to get my 18 month old to let me change his diaper. Yes, it may be hard now, but it is a memory with him. I love him and I treasure every moment~even the hard ones.

     One older blogger made this comment, "When those little old ladies approach you, they aren't trying to tell you that they think your life is a joyous romp with your kids. If they're parents, and I expect all of them are, they know how tough it is to raise a family. They just want to tell you how hard it is when your children are grown and no longer part of your daily life. Many of us, looking back, think our parenting years were the best of our lives, no matter how difficult they were. When you're a mom, you have a purpose, a reason for living, you're essentiall­y important to someone else's wellbeing. You maybe think you can't wait for being that essential and that responsibl­e to be over; I did. But now that it is, I often wish to have it back. No one is trying to tell you to be happy every minute of every day or not to ever feel frustrated or angry with your children. They just want to impart to you how brief this time is and how much you will miss it when it's gone. No one could convince them of that, and no one can convince you. But all of us old ladies feel a compulsion to try."

     I LOVE ~ absolutely love ~ being a mother.  I hope with all my heart that this time will go by slowly. I am in no hurry for them to grow up and leave. I love having them around. Of course it is hard at times, but with the right perspective and looking upwards, even the hard times make me smile.