My Swirly-Twirly Life

Why the guilt Mom?

2012-01-26T05:24:00.000-08:00

After my last post called "Yes, Carpe Diem!" my eyes were open a little to see how many amazing mothers are having feelings of guilt on a regular basis, if not daily. I thought of this analogy.

You've heard about a place called Disneyland and you really want to experience it for yourself. You hope and dream about it, work hard to save up enough money, and then the awesome awaited day comes. It's not quite how you imagined. The lines are long. It's loud and confusing. The first ride gives you a headache. Your back hurts and your feet are tired from walking so much. You look around and everyone seems to be having a great time except for you. You tell someone you aren't having any fun and they respond surprised, "How can you not like Disneyland? You must not be doing it right. Did you go get your fast passes and plan out your whole day minute by minute?" At that point you can give up all your hopes and dreams of having a good time at Disneyland and leave deciding that Disneyland is just too confusing for you to figure out. Or you can take a deep breath, go get a map and figure out how you can enjoy yourself more.
I believe there are two kinds of guilt. One that God wants us to feel to inspire us to change for the better and one that Satan wants us to feel to be miserable and depressed. I will call them beautiful guilt and ugly guilt. It is important to remember that Satan can change beautiful guilt into ugly guilt and God can change ugly guilt into beautiful guilt. It all depends on us and who we let in.
So let's say that you snap at one of your kids, they start acting up because they feel hurt, and you start snapping more because they are acting up. Ugly guilts says, "You are so awful. You are always yelling. You will never change. When your child grows up, he is going to remember this day FOREVER and hate you for it. You are such a horrible mother. You never get any sleep anymore. That's why you're so grumpy. These kids are ruining your life." Beautiful guilt says, "You are snapping at your kids because your tired. Tomorrow will be better. Go give your child a hug and tell them that you love them. Maybe you should start going to bed a little earlier or figure out a way to take a nap during the day. You can fix this problem."
Ugly guilt is just that ~ Ugly ~ very very ugly. It tells you that you are worthless. You can't do anything right. You mess up every single day. You will never be good enough. You feel despair, sadness and realize that you better just give up, because you will never be the kind of person that you want to become. Hopelessness sinks in. You feel you better just give up now.
Beautiful guilt is a gentle reminder of things we could improve to be happier. We see our strengths, but we also see our weaknesses. We identify a problem and decide to work on fixing it. We feel inspired and motivated to change. We feel hope and realize we can do anything we put our minds to. We realize it takes time to change and that we need to be patient with ourselves. We feel determined. We feel God's love and confidence in us.
Who are you listening to?

Yes Carpe Diem!

2012-01-23T02:11:00.000-08:00

Warning: Ummm. . . if you don't like your kids or you don't enjoy being a mom, you may not want to read this. This may sound silly, but sometimes I'm afraid to say how much I love being a mom. I hear too many people complaining about it and I don't want to make them feel bad (or be accused of lying). I really don't think I am better than them in any way. I love all kids, but especially my own. I like being with my kids! I enjoy having them around. I realized I was different when I was a teenager and I would choose a babysitting job over hanging out with friends. And then again a few years later when I worked at a pre-school/daycare center and one of the moms asked me how in the world I could do that day in and day out. The truth is I loved it and would have kept coming back even if they didn't pay me. I loved those kids SO much. I still remember the first day that one mom dropped off her little girl as if it were yesterday. The poor girl cried and cried. No one could get through to her. She curled up in the fetal position and hid underneath the coats hanging against the wall. I got down next to her and whispered something like this in her ear, "You miss your mommy don't you. I know she loves you so much and will be back for you after work. I get to be your teacher and I promise you that I will love you too and try to treat you just the way your mommy would." She looked up at me, stopped crying, and reached up her hands. I kept my promise.
There is a blog that has been going around called, "Don't Carpe Diem". The author talks about how much it bugs her when the old women at the grocery store tell her to treasure every moment while her kids are little. This philosophy makes her feel stressed out, because she isn't really enjoying every moment and then she feels like a bad mom. I can understand that it may not work for her and many other women that loved her article, but I just want to say that it does work for me. Those reminders that the time goes by fast and to treasure every moment have truly been a blessing in my life. When someone loses a child, they always advise others, "Hug your children a little tighter," and "Give them an extra kiss tonight." Just the other night when my husband and I were mentioning something that was hard to do with little kids, my mom lovingly said, "Just remember to enjoy it. They are only little once." I love this kind of advice and I try to follow it.

A fellow blogger posted this comment, "When you are in the trenches of it, it can be hard. Who wants to hear it right? Well, I learned early when my oldest was diagnosed with a life threatening illness that we were only guaranteed today. This moment. That's it. So I stopped getting caught up in the 'making it to bed time' and enjoyed my kids. So they make messes, break things, and throw tantrums. This too shall pass and quickly I may add."

There is a story of a man burdened down with his heavy load, staring down at the floor of an elevator. When an older and wiser man walks into the elevator and says, "It is better to look up." Here is a link to the complete story.

Now he could have responded bitterly how this old man has no idea what he's going through and has just forgotten how hard life is or he can humbly take the loving advice from someone who can see the bigger picture.

I feel like the women at the grocery store are like this wise and wonderful man reminding us that, "It is better to look up."

Looking up, to me, means not getting caught up in the here and now and opening are hearts and minds to the bigger picture.

On one of my really hard days as a mother, my husband wasn't home and I was quite anxious for bedtime. I was irritable and grumpy, and all the kids were crying. I put them all in their beds with no hugs, no kisses, no story time and went in my room, locked my door, laid in bed and cried. This is not the kind of mother I wanted to be. I took some deep breaths and said a prayer. And my loving Father in Heaven touched my heart as He always does. He helped me to see how uptight I was being. I let go of the frustrations and stress of the day. I went back out into the battle zone with the armor of peace that only comes from up above. The kids were all still crying, but I didn't let it bother me or stress me out. I just picked up a book and started reading. One by one they came to listen and we cuddled and read for a good half hour. We prayed, kissed and hugged and everyone (including myself) went to bed peaceful and happy. It is better to look up. You will feel less guilt and more fulfillment as a mother if you allow yourself to let go of the little things and enjoy your children.

So let's say you hate changing poopy diapers. Every time you have to change one, you are hurting yourself by thinking (or saying out loud) how much you hate changing poopy diapers. Or, you could change (yes, you have the power to do that) your attitude and remind yourself that motherhood=sacrifice and that when you are serving your own children, you are serving God.

Mark 9:36-37

36 And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them,

37 Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me.

The Savior said, "When you receive one of these, you receive me."
That really hit me. When I am receiving my children in love and serving them, it is as though I am doing it to my Savior and God. He loves these children so much and has entrusted them to us. I want to love them and treasure them the way He would if He were here.
The Don't Carpe Diem blog also implies that it is impossible to enjoy doing something that is hard. I don't agree with that at all. I know that motherhood is hard and challenging, but I do enjoy it. I enjoy it very much! Yes, even the wrestling match trying to get my 18 month old to let me change his diaper. Yes, it may be hard now, but it is a memory with him. I love him and I treasure every moment~even the hard ones.

One older blogger made this comment, "When those little old ladies approach you, they aren't trying to tell you that they think your life is a joyous romp with your kids. If they're parents, and I expect all of them are, they know how tough it is to raise a family. They just want to tell you how hard it is when your children are grown and no longer part of your daily life. Many of us, looking back, think our parenting years were the best of our lives, no matter how difficult they were. When you're a mom, you have a purpose, a reason for living, you're essentially important to someone else's wellbeing. You maybe think you can't wait for being that essential and that responsible to be over; I did. But now that it is, I often wish to have it back. No one is trying to tell you to be happy every minute of every day or not to ever feel frustrated or angry with your children. They just want to impart to you how brief this time is and how much you will miss it when it's gone. No one could convince them of that, and no one can convince you. But all of us old ladies feel a compulsion to try."

I LOVE ~ absolutely love ~ being a mother. I hope with all my heart that this time will go by slowly. I am in no hurry for them to grow up and leave. I love having them around. Of course it is hard at times, but with the right perspective and looking upwards, even the hard times make me smile.

Cousin Fun!

2011-05-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

My sister, her husband and older kids went on a biking trip to Colorado and we have the pleasure of their two young girls for a few days. They are all having so much fun.

We let them all sleep in the basement together.

Aren't they cute?

Timmy

Christian

Well, they weren't so cute when they woke me up WAY too a early this morning. But that was thanks to Bella who thought it would be great to wake everyone up before the sun rose. Needless to say, she doesn't get the privilege of sleeping in the same room with her cousins tonight :)

Beautiful girls all dressed up and ready for church.

These pictures are more true to their personalities and how they've really been acting.

Katie

Bella

and Savannah. I couldn't decide which picture of her I liked better.

Temple Square

2011-05-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

After spending most of the day at the zoo, we decided to stop by Temple Square. It was SO BEAUTIFUL! I love love loved all the flowers. They were everywhere. I imagine Heaven will look something like that.

Too bad we didn't have a photographer on hand to take some family photos.

We love to go and see the statue of Jesus. We can feel His love for us and the spirit touched my soul as I entered the room and reassured me that He is real, He died for me, and that He lives again. I am so grateful for my Savior. It has been a joy to watch how much my children love Him. From the time they are babies, I can see a different kind of love in their eyes when we talk about Jesus or show them pictures of Him. They know Him.

The beautiful earth Heavenly Father and Jesus created for us.

Trying to snatch a kiss :)

Timmy and Christian running behind the flowers.

Bella trying to get money out of the fountain ~ That little stinker.

This was such a fun day. I love spending time with my family and am so grateful for the Temple and to know that we can be together forever!

Hogle Zoo

2011-05-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

We had such a fun family day at the zoo on Monday.

My bearded man with his sunglasses

. . . and without ~ riding the train at the zoo.

For those of you that are unaware, he is growing his beard and hair to be in a New Testament movie for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I personally can't wait until he gets to shave it. I really miss his face :) At least I'll appreciate it more now.

The zoo has dinosaurs throughout that are so much fun. They move, roar and squirt water.

Andrew LOVED when I would let him out of the stroller. He likes to be FREE to roam as he pleases!

He's been walking since 9 1/2 months. I really need to put a video up. He's a real cutie pie :D

Up close and personal with a peacock.

The cutest wild animal I saw at the zoo!

Bella riding the Tiger on the carousal.

Christian (not sure why he's closing his eyes)

Andrew

Timmy. Yes, I think that's a ladybug he's riding. The other day he told me his favorite animals are ladybugs and butterflies. I thought that was pretty funny coming from a boy who is obsessed with dirt bikes, motorcycles, jets, and tractors.

"I'm Free!"

Timmy with his friend T-Rex

The back side of a peacock.

Beautiful!

Bella and an ape.

Christian riding on a dinosaur tail.

"I had a little turtle. His name was tiny Tim."

~lyrics from a song my kids love

Snap Snap

Andrew crawled into the turtle shell all by himself.

Peek a Boo!

Enjoying the SUN!

2011-05-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

Andrew enjoyed his first popsicle :)

He thinks we're a little too noisy.

A great afternoon for a picnic. Last week was very sunny and we spent everyday outside from sun up to sun down!

I planted this tree about 4 years ago and this is the best it has ever looked. I was so excited! I love pretty things.

Bella asked if she could go get the mail. Her brothers wanted to go too. When I looked out the window to watch them, this is what I saw and I just had to run after them to get some pictures.

Christian is wearing and old halloween costume size 6 months. Ha Ha.

Baby Andrew enjoying the view!

The Big 3 in 1 birthday BASH at Papa's Lot

2011-05-18T12:50:00.000-07:00

Christian's 2nd birthday cake, because he LOVES playing in the sandbox and dirt.

Andrew's passion is his pacifier, so I decided to make him a pacifier cake :)

A picture with some of the cousins. Timmy is covering up Marshall's cake. It was a turtle cheesecake. Oreo cookie crust, a layer of carmel, then the cheesecake drizzled with chocolate, carmel and pecans. . . yum

Christian loved his dump truck cake :)

Andrew was SO cute with his cake. He couldn't figure out which pacifier he wanted so he just kept trying them all out :)

And he finally decided to dig in to the cake!

Bella in front of the gorgeous view from Papa's Lot.

Amanda and Andrew in the bounce house.

Christian trying to deflate the bounce house on everyone.

Two of the birthday boys enjoying the view. On Marshall's actual birthday, Sunday, we had friends over for some food and cheesecake. I also have a lot of video footage of the birthday celebrations, but it will probably be awhile before I get around to editing it.

Christian's 3rd birthday

2011-05-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

Christian lucked out this year with 2 birthday parties. We had three of his little neighborhood friends come over for a small party. Some of his friends brothers and sister stayed too, so the party ended up being pretty big.

Christian loves Thomas the train and was excited for a Thomas cake.

Christian's 1st birthday cake.

Enjoying some juicy watermelon.

Cool toys!

Checking out his new bubble gun.

Some neighborhood friends enjoying the new bubble gun.

JUMP JUMP

2011-05-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

We LOVE our trampoline. I remember hesitating to spend the money, but we have never looked back. I tell Marshall all the time that it was the best money we ever spent. It has provided hours and hours of fun and exercise for the kids (and me :)

I love Christian in this one!

Bella's 6th Birthday

2011-05-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

Bella celebrated her birthday at (surprise surprise) Chuck E Cheese.

Barbie Princess Cake

Cousin Jessica hit the jackpot.

Princess Bella with her princess cake. We planned on a small party and only invited 4 cousins her age, but my brother's wife ended up having a baby and my parents were out of town, so we watched their kids. I just didn't want anyone to feel bad if they weren't invited when they see these pictures. We were trying to keep it small :)

Timmy picked out a Remote Control My Little Pony Airplane :)

Catching Up!!

2011-05-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

OK so I haven't been very good at blogging lately, but I have been taking lots of pictures :) So in this post I am just going to post random pictures that I never got around to posting.

These snow pictures were taken back in February. The snow had melted and was gone for a while, so when it snowed and stuck on this day, we were all so excited to go play.

I caught Timmy eating the snow :)

Bella LOVED her snowman!

Snow Angels

Snow Beauty

Lets see how much snow we can balance on our heads.

WEEEEEEE!

All the kids liked helping us paint the basement, but as you can see, Bella especially enjoyed it :)

Bella decorated this birthday cake for me all by herself!

My birthday was awesome. Bella and I went out for breakfast (she was the only one awake). Then, I got ready and went out to lunch at Kneaders with my parents and sister-in-laws Deborah and Sara. When I got home the kids surprised me with a cake and presents(that I actually picked out myself hehe).

And Marshall finished the day off perfectly by taking me out on an awesome date:) We went to see the musical Annie and had dinner at the Olive Garden.Yum. Wow! I sure ate a lot on my birthday :)

Marshall has been doing a ton of yard work lately and the kids have really enjoyed helping :)

Fun in the sand box

Rub a Dub Dub . . . Three Bare boys in a tub!

Bella's First Piano Recital

2011-04-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Bella has been taking piano lessons for about 3 months and is loving it. Now, when she wakes up before everyone else in the morning, instead of begging to watch cartoons, I find her playing the piano. I'm so glad Marshall convinced me to buy a digital piano instead of a real one. She can turn the volume down or where head phones, so it doesn't matter if anyone is sleeping when she plays.

Posing like a Super model. Not sure where she gets that from ~

I took piano for years when I was little and always struggled with it. I hated to practice and dreaded going to my lessons, so it has been so much fun to watch her love it so much. I'm grateful I married a musical husband who was able to pass this gift on to her.

Click play above to watch a movie of her playing before and at the recital. She got a little nervous and messed up at the recital, then when she sat down, she buried her head in my arm and said, "I messed up." Afterwards I asked her how she felt and she said, "I was shy." She's such a sweetie. They have a recital every 6 months, so hopefully she'll get used to performing, so she's not so nervous in the future.

Baby #5!!!

2011-03-30T22:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but I can't stop thinking, "Number 5 is alive!" But I guess you have to have seen the movie Short Circuit to get it.

So here is our 5th baby. Wow! I cannot believe I am pregnant for the 5th time. All I can think is, "CRAZY!" but I don't like it as much when other people call me crazy :)

So after Andrew I didn't think I would have another baby for a while, but I kept having a strange feeling that someone was missing. It seemed so crazy to me because I already had 4 little kids, but often as I gathered them together for prayer or dinner, I would look around and wonder if someone was missing and I really felt like someone was. This feeling kept nagging me for several weeks, so I brought it up to Marshall and we prayed a lot about it for awhile and then felt we should stop using birth control. As soon as we stopped using it, that nagging feeling went away and I felt peace. And now that I am pregnant, I have to admit I am a little nervous to have them so close together, but I am confident we made a decision that I will never regret. On the contrary, I'm sure that we will be extremely grateful we followed our feelings and won't be able to imagine life without this sweet little spirit that will soon join our family. I love my kids so much! I really love being a mom and am so grateful for each one of my kids. My greatest desire is that I can help them reach their greatest potential. Bella just started piano lessons and is doing amazingly well. Timmy has been memorizing scriptures. Christian practically potty trained himself and Andrew just started walking. My heart is absolutely FULL with JOY as I watch my children develop their talents, make good choices, and learn how to do new things. Another thing that brings me amazing satisfaction is watching my kids interact with each other. They love each other SO much. They are each other's best friends. They are SUPER excited to have another sibling. I think about my own brothers and sisters and how much I love each of them. I know that if I were ever in need, every single one of them would be there to help me. One of the greatest gifts my parents have given me is my brothers and sisters.

Random Photos

2011-03-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

We just got a new camera. The Sony A55. I love it! We mostly got it for video, but as soon as I got home from the store, I took these pictures from our front porch. The thing I love most about it is that it is so user friendly!

Wide lens with the panoramic setting.

Regular lens - Panoramic

These two pictures are the couches I want in my front room. I LOVE the turquoise!

We have an awesome sledding hill right across the street and here are some pics of us taking advantage of it!

Baby Andrew watching us sled from the window :)

Christian playing in the snow.

Bella striking a pose.

Click on the play button above to watch Bella and Marshall sled down.

Look what a happy Dad!

The kids at Trafalga riding the boat.

My hair is getting super long! How short should I cut it?

Off to the Ballet

2011-03-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

As part of K12 they offer some fun outings and in February Bella and I got to go see the ballet Sleeping Beauty. It was only about an hour and she thought that was too long, but still loved the whole experience. She loves attention and special treatment! (Marshall says she must take after her mom :)

We took this picture before we left. We wanted to match and this was the only red dress I had. I was absolutely shocked when it fit me, because I haven't worn it since Marshall and I were dating :)

After the ballet Bella danced around the beautiful theatre and looked at all the displays. Then, we went across the street to the Olive Garden to have lunch. On the way home Bella said, "This is the best day ever!" And that . . . made my heart smile.

Finding summer during the winter

2011-03-01T08:06:00.000-08:00

One VERY cold winter day (it was a blizzard outside) we decided to pretend it was summer and went to the pool! :) As I sat and relaxed in the heated water, watching my kids play in the nearly empty pool, I stared out the window at the plethora of snow falling down and thought, "We can always find a little summer in the winter of our lives."

Bella was here too, but she isn't in any pictures because she was off swimming in the deeper part with a cute boy she made friends with. When we were in the locker room getting dressed, she asked me if she could go on a date with him sometime! Ha Ha ~ I tried not to let her see me laughing. I don't think she really knows what a date means, it just sounded funny.

Marshall's awesome handiwork

2011-02-21T23:49:00.000-08:00

After the busy Christmas season Marshall had some extra time on his hands and he built me a big pantry in the basement. All the extra shelf space is great! It turned out perfect!

Christian, Andrew, and Bella loved helping Dad paint!

Meanwhile Timmy was hiding upstairs building a Rocket ship and he really wanted me to take a picture!

Awww . . finally a new post, Bella's first lost tooth, and thoughts on Homeschooling

2011-02-21T22:56:00.000-08:00

The reason I haven't posted in so long is because I couldn't find my camera charger so I could get the pictures off. Today I decided to organize my desk and look for it. I finally found it in the camera box right where I put it so I wouldn't loose it. Ha!

The happy toothless grin!

In January Bella lost her first tooth and was sooo excited! It surprised me that I was a little sad about the whole thing, My baby is growing up! It makes me want to savor every moment with my kids (and husband). Each moment is a blessing to be treasured.

Some people have asked how home schooling is going ~

Well, Bella and I both love it. She loves it because she gets my one on one attention, she gets to play fun learning games on the computer, paint, do crafts, pick what subject she wants to do first, take a break when she needs it, and she just loves to learn. I also think she likes having a more relaxed schedule and not being rushed out the door in the morning. She loves it that her teacher calls her and sends her free kids meal certificates in the mail all the time. I don't think there is anything she doesn't like about it and she hasn't asked to go to school with the other kids once. In fact, I ask her if she wants to and she begs, "No, I want to do school at home."

I love it because I get to spend more time with Bella then I would if she went to school, because she loves it and it's not too hard to get her to do it, she has plenty of time to practice the piano and take gymnastics, I don't have to rush her out the door in the morning, all the lessons are planned and it's very easy to guide her along (I'm learning a lot myself :). I love the curriculum. She can go at her own pace. She's already half way through first grade math and almost done with kindergarten phonics and will be moved up to first grade phonics soon. I can keep doing it in the summer if I want, which I like because it gives us productive activities to do. k12.com provides us with so many awesome learning supplies. Sometimes it is a little overwhelming and I wonder if I'll be able to keep doing it, but then we have a good day and I love it again. I'm still not sure what we'll do in the future, but for now this is working for us.

Tangled 3D

2010-11-30T23:33:00.000-08:00

I took the kids to see Tangled in 3D this morning. It was so much fun and I thought the kids looked so cute, I just had to take some pictures :)

Getting ready for Christmas!

2010-11-30T23:02:00.000-08:00

As many of you may already know, Christmas is my very favorite time of the year! There is so much love and joy in the air. Marshall surprised me this year with a new big Christmas tree. We have high ceilings in our house and I have always wanted a big, tall tree. Well about a week before Thanksgiving, I was driving home at night and there was a huge lit tree in my window! I was so excited.

I had so much fun decorating it too! Bella helped with the decorating, while the boys all threw the ornaments all around the room. Good thing they weren't breakable :)

btw - Marshall bought this used and got a great deal.

And since we made a family of snowmen last year, we just had to do it again!

This is the first gingerbread house I have ever successfully made from scratch. I usually just buy those kits because I can't get the walls to stay up, but this one actually worked! YAY!

Some Texas size cinnamon rolls I made!

A sweet picture I snagged of Andrew all cozied up with Dad.

And... One little monkey jumping on the bed!

2010-11-07T21:33:00.000-08:00

Here is a clip of my friend Tiffany making Andrew laugh. We were having a little girls night and Andrew ended up being the entertainment for the evening. But I'll tell you, Tiffany sure has a way with babies, because I can't get him to laugh like that! :)

Some family Photos

2010-10-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

Monday afternoon we had our Family Pictures taken by the best photographer for families that I've ever had. She has 4 young boys of her own, so she knows exactly what to do to get kids to look and smile. The kids lasted almost 2 hours getting their pictures taken! That never happens. When we left I was thinking, "That was fun!" instead of things like, "That was horrible, torturous, awful. . . " and then walk away without liking anything. We also went to an awesome place for pictures called Wheelers Farm. They had sheep, chickens, ducks, goats, and tractors to keep the kids entertained! We haven't picked which ones we are going to buy yet, but if you click on the link below you can see some of them :)

Click here to see our Family Photos!

Baby Andrew Sitting up!

2010-09-27T22:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight Marshall and I were just hanging out with Baby Andrew after the other kids were in bed and he surprised us by sitting up all by himself! He is 4 1/2 months old.

Whoops! Lost his balance! :-D

"Look at me!"

. . . and Timber

focus . . . focus

. . .and I'm doing it :)

"Yea, I'm so cool. I'm a pro at this."

My New Camera

2010-09-23T00:28:00.000-07:00

So, I'm taking a community photography class and I am starting from scratch. I didn't even have a SLR camera until a few hours before the first class. I ended up buying a cannon rebel xTi from my cousin.
So remember I am a beginner as you analyze my first attempts at good picture taking :) I'm also starting a photoshop class, but all of these except the first one are unedited.

Trip to Oregon

2010-09-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

At the last minute we decided to hop in the car and drive 14 hours straight through the night just in time to arrive at Grammie's "Pie Party" about half way through. There were about 50 people there. She was SO surprised and excited to see us. Grandpa Ron saw Bella outside and said, "You look just like my granddaughter." It was pretty funny :)

FYI: A "Pie Party" Is a party in which everyone brings either a main dish or dessert pie!


Grandpa Ron giving the kids a ride on his tractor.

We had such a fun time and stayed for about a week. I have tons of pictures from the trip, but here are just a few.


Beauty Queen in front of their house. We love the BIG trees. It is such a beautiful place. It's really close to the city, but you feel like your out in the country.

The boys loved playing with Daddy's old wagon and I have some video of them getting inside and pushing each other down the hill, but I'll have to post that another time.

Handsome boy posing for the camera.

I love my family so much! I have been so blessed with such wonderful people in my life.

Homeschooling with K12.com

2010-09-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

For years I have debated about whether or not I would homeschool my kids. I seriously agonized over it.

Why Homeschool?

Because for some reason I feel drawn to it.

Why not?

Because I must surely be crazy like everyone is telling me.

I have always loved teaching young children. When I taught preschool, I used to joke that I would do it for free, because I loved it so much. I always thought I would end up with a preschool in my house and I still probably will someday, but for now I feel that I need to focus on my own kids.

I don't want to go into the whole debate that was going on in my head.

Lets just say that thanks to my 5 year old's encouragement, I am now an official homeschooling mom.

We are doing it through a program called K12.com. It's through the public school, so they send you all the materials you will need for free. It is a lot of cool stuff that the teacher in me loves.

We started on August 23rd and the first day was pretty hard because I was trying to read instructions and figure out the website and by the second day things were worse. Everyone wanted my attention, I was reading and trying to learn how to use K12, and the house was a mess. I was stressed and said, "Bella, I don't think this is going to work. Let's walk over to the school right now and sign you up because they start school tomorrow." I was surprised when she started crying and said, "No, mom, please. Send Timmy(age 4) and Christian(age 2) to school, then you can teach me." It made me smile and feel more determined after realizing how badly she wanted for me to be her teacher. I gave myself a pep talk and did a lot of reading after the kids went to bed. I also called Bella's online teacher and she cleared a lot of things up and made me feel SO much better. The next day and everyday since has been AWESOME! I am absolutely loving this. It is much better than I ever anticipated that it could be. Keep in mind that I have the ideal student. She only needs to do 2 1/2 hours a day, but she does more like 5 because she begs me to do more.

So this has actually turned in to be a great blessing for our family. It gives us all something fun and engaging to do together during the day. Bella wakes up first, so I have one on one time with her. Then Timmy and Christian either play or participate with us. And I am having SO much fun! I have a passion for teaching children and watching their confidence grow. Today I actually cried when Timmy totally surprised me with his reading skills. I was sounding out "am" for him really slowly with these awesome magnetic letter tiles they give you and then without any hesitation he grabs the letter B, sticks it in front of the "am", and says, "Why don't you just make it Bam mom?" Because I am homeschooling Bella, Timmy and Christian are also getting a Kindergarten curriculum :) One big concern of mine was that she wouldn't get enough social interaction but she plays with friends outside almost everyday, goes to Sunday School, takes gymnastics with other girls, has lots of cousins to play with, and K12 hosts field trips and picnics. SO. . . I think she is going to be OK.

I'm not sure if I will do this with all my kids or how long Bella will do it, but I feel really confident that for now this is the best thing for us. I am so loving it. Did I say that already?

DISCLAIMER: Homeschooling is not for everyone :)

Family Night

2010-09-01T16:39:00.001-07:00

Oh Wow! Isn't he good-looking? :) Thanks to this handsome guy we had the BEST family night ever! HE bought us all season passes to fun places like this. It even includes a water park, which we are going to enjoy tomorrow. He got an awesome, end of the season deal. Looks like we have many fun days ahead of us.

If you know my boys at all you would have already guessed what the highlight of the evening was -

GO KARTS!!!

They even had some motorcycle ones!!!!! These two were in Heaven!

Bella had to try on a helmet too and she was actually the only one tall enough to drive one by herself.

There were so many fun rides perfect for my kids size.

Bella took Christian for an airplane ride. Timmy also had a turn, but his picture turned out blurry (because he was speeding by SO fast :)

and to finish it off, we got to do some rock climbing.

Happy Anniversary to us!

2010-09-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

OK so this picture might look a little cheesy, but it was all dark and I messed around with it until it looked like this. I think it looks kind of cool :)

This is the same Temple we were married in seven years ago. We are more in love now than we were then (I know more cheese).

I felt so happy on this night with my honey ~ I am SO grateful to have found such a wonderful guy. He is seriously so perfect for me. I just feel so blessed. Of course life is not perfect and we have our disagreements, but our love surpasses all of that and we always come together knowing that, as long as we have each other, everything will work out OK.

What a privilege it is to be married to a man who loves God with all his heart. A man who kneels before his maker morning and night with Faith that there is a loving Father listening to him. A man who works tirelessly to support our family and willingly shares his wealth with others in need, even if it means postponing the day that he can get his dream boat :)

I'm in LOVE!

South Fork Park

2010-08-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

We had a family get together at South Fork park and everyone had SO much fun. Here are some pictures to prove it.

Awwwww . . . .

Mommy and Christian (and baby sung as a bug in between)

The boys had so much fun climbing trees.

Nannie and Papa

Update on baby Andrew

2010-08-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

Today was our first appointment with our post operative cardiologist. His name is Dr. Mac (not sure how you spell it). He is super nice and makes me grateful for good doctors.

First they took Andrew's stats. Oxygen was great, 11 lbs 13 ounces - 27% for weight which is completely normal for my kids, 24 1/2 inches long- 80% for height (Super). Then they did an EKG of his heart and all the rhythms/beats looked normal and great. Then they did an Echocardiogram which is an ultrasound of the heart. Everything looked perfect. It is my understanding that the biggest concern now is that the opening where the surgeon connected the vein confluence to the heart would narrow or form scar tissue and his exact words were that it looked "wide open". That is great news.

Andrew was perfect the whole time, never cried once, and even flashed a few smiles. What a cutie.

He will be seen again in 3 months and we need to watch him for sweating or breathing fast while feeding, unexplained irritability, paleness. . . At anytime during his life, he could have issues with that opening narrowing or forming too much scar tissue. The risk decreasing as time goes on past the surgery day. They watch him most closely from now to 18 months and then again during adolescence, when they are growing the most.

He can not be circumcised until after 6 months of age and will have to have general anesthetic. They treat it like a surgical procedure. Poor guy. The reason for waiting so long is that before the heart is completely healed, it is at greater risk for infection and during the circumcision procedure there is a risk that bacteria can enter the blood stream.

Overall he is doing AMAZING and we are so proud of him and grateful to God for the blessing of having him with us.

Trip to California

2010-07-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun at Disneyland with Nannie and Papa.

I even got to take Bella and Timmy on their

first roller coaster ride, Space Mountain. They loved it!

Mormon Battalion Visitors Center

We had a lot of fun here. We got to pan for gold, play in a wagon, and learn lots of cool stuff.

Christian was watching the surfers and decided that he wanted to try.

3 cuties playing in the sand.

2010-07-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

I have been laying in bed trying to sleep but something that happened yesterday just keeps running through my head and I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I write it down.

Yesterday we had a long day planned at This is the Place Heritage Park with my sister, brother and their kids. This was going to be my first major outing with 4 kids. On the way there we ran into the store to buy some snacks for the day. I put Christian in the front of the cart, baby Andrew's car seat in the back, Timmy sat in the back on his bottom and Bella walked beside me. We grabbed a few treats and were on our way. The kids were all acting perfectly well and as we were checking out the cashier said, "You have your hands full today." I replied in the upbeat mood that I was in, "I have my hands full everyday!" She said, "Oh, are these all yours?" I proudly stated, "Yes, I have four." She acted sorry for me, so I reassured her, "I like them all." And now I just want to give a little shout out to the world:

Please don't feel sorry for me! I love my life! I chose to have these kids and, yes, I like them all! Of course it is hard sometimes, but to me it is SO worth it. My kids give me reasons to keep smiling, to play, to run, to laugh, to pray constantly, to work hard, to strive to become a better person everyday, to love more than I ever imagined possible, to have faith, to sacrifice, and to make rice crispy treats :)

2010-07-10T22:51:00.001-07:00

Just had to write this down before I forgot. Every night after I nurse Andrew, I also give him a bottle of my breast milk that has been frozen since he was in the hospital. Well, tonight I went down to the deep freezer and saw that we only had 2 left. I put one in the fridge and started to thaw the second, all while holding Andrew in one arm, his big eyes staring up at me, full of love. While we were waiting for the milk to thaw in the hot water, I looked at the date written on the top of it. May 14. The day of Andrew's surgery. A flood of emotions came back to me as I remembered so clearly how I felt when I was pumping that milk wondering if I would ever be able to even use it. And now here I am holding my smily, healthy boy and feeding him this special milk. Well, at least to me. . . it is special. I love you Andrew.

2010-07-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

We love it when he smiles!

Baby Andrew cuddling the doggy that Uncle David brought for him.

This picture was taken Sunday after Andrew was blessed by his father at church. He was wearing a different outfit, but pooped in it before I got a chance to take a picture. We will save that for another day.

She takes after her mama

2010-07-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

Bella decided it would be fun to roll around in the mud.

Definitely something I would have done.

ALL SMILES

2010-06-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

I took baby Andrew to the Doctor today and he now weighs 9 lbs. 14 ounces which is great. They are not concerned about his weight gain any more. I am very happy about that. The Doc said he is right on developmentally as any two month old baby would be and he's not even two months old yet. The Dr. was so impressed by how well he's doing which made me feel so happy and relieved.

His scar is also healing up so nicely. Every time I look at it, I am surprised by how good it looks.

Big sister Bella giving hugs before bed.

A little skin on skin

2010-06-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight baby Andrew was being fussy. Nothing seemed to make him happy. I tried feeding him, burping him, changing his diaper, acupressure, rubbing his tummy. I finally stripped him down and stuck him inside my shirt. It worked :)

Before I mentioned that Andrew was breastfeeding, but I forgot to say that he wasn't gaining enough weight, so I had to start giving him about one bottle a day with formula added to my breast milk to make sure he's getting enough calories. I'm a little concerned that he's not growing faster. When I look at older pictures in the blog, it doesn't seem like he's changed much. I will take him to the Dr. this week to be weighed, so I'll let you know how it goes.

2010-06-25T06:23:00.000-07:00

Took a trip to the park with our new double stroller Grammie bought for us. I love it!

Mommy with her sweet baby.

"Beary cute"

Showing off their spiky hair after a fun time splashing in the bath.

. . .and now showing off their BIG muscles!

The boys with their aunt Shanna.

Uncle David holding baby Andrew David.

"My cousin thought it would be so funny to put sunglasses on me . . . and it was!"

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

For Father's Day I wanted to post some excerpts of what Marshall wrote after Bella was born. I have always thought it was so sweet . . . .

"The birth of our baby was one of the greatest and unique spiritual experiences of my life. . . As she was born, Mandy was crying, and I was about to the whole time, and couldn’t talk. My mom was listening by phone as much as she could. It was the most warming and beautiful experience I’ve witnessed. She got cuter by the minute, and still does. She was alert for the first hour of her life, nursed for 15 minutes, and has been sleeping most of the rest of the time. It is amazing how much love I feel for this little child. A perfect description for her would include peaceful, serene, perfectly innocent, precious, vulnerable, angelic, so beautiful, and as cute as can be. Her little whimpers and sounds melt our hearts every time. Her features look mostly like me including a full head of dark hair maybe ½ an inch long. Her fingers and toes are quite long, like a little monkey. We marvel constantly at this miracle of life. In nearly an instant in time this little person transitioned from breathing liquid, to nothing in the birth canal, to air. Her head overnight has gradually formed to perfect roundness. . . Her big toe likes to curl underneath her 2^nd toe, which gave the nurse a hard time who took foot prints.

To the surprise of everyone, hers was the first diaper I’ve ever changed.

I imagine that many angels were present at her birth, and probably have been keeping her good company ever since. The first night I wanted to read every scripture I could find on little children. I found many beautiful accounts in the Book of Mormon about Jesus loving children, as well as a few in the New Testament. I feel I can relate, or understand better now when Jesus says, “become as a little child”. Looking at this little baby girl, I felt a renewed understanding of how life ought to be here. She brings nothing of war and contention to this world, but peace, joy, family unity, marvelous love, and spiritual fulfillment. Now I want to drive a little slower, and feel more motivation to follow the rules of goodness. The feeling I have for this little child is like a combination of an overwhelming spiritual experience, opening the best Christmas present on Christmas morning, and the excitement of having a new girlfriend – all I want to do is get done with what I have to do so I can go home and just be with her.

After a couple hours I went with a nurse to give her her first bath. She was “warmed up” under a heat lamp for awhile, then brought to the sink. I filmed some of it. The nurse was so good and gentle. She loved being rinsed off with the warm water. Kathleen, little Jonathan, and Aaron were watching through the window. She brought oranges. David and Maren brought donuts earlier for everybody. Little Amanda brought a cookie she made, “for Isabella or whatever her name is.” They put a little bow in her hair, put a white shirt on her, wrapped her up in a blanket and she looked even more adorable. Mandy’s mom took some more pictures. Grandma and Grandpa Olsen came by and figured this was their 93^rd great-grandchild. She looked at the baby and said, “Every time I still marvel at the miracle of life.” Grandpa laughed with tears in his eyes. She is also Mel and Nancy’s 43^rd grandchild. . . As I drove I wept, pondering and praying for this most beautiful miracle of life I’ve been privileged to be a part of. . ."

2010-06-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

Christian was thrilled to cuddle with baby before going to bed.

Timmy holding Andrew

Christian showing off for Grammie

Chistian is sure that baby Andrew loves dirt bikes and keeps stuffing them in his blanket :)

Look-a-likes.

Andrew looks just like Christian did as a baby.

Hanging out with Dad.

. . . and sleeping.

Timmy walking on the ceiling.

Daddy throwing Christian

Grammie loving baby Andrew.

2010-06-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Andrew,

Yesterday, June 9th, was a very exciting day in your life! You had a follow up doctor visit at Primary Children's hospital and they said that you were doing great! We took off your oxygen and your stats stayed around 97 which is awesome, so you don't have to have oxygen any more for the first time in your short life. You finally know how it feels to be free of tubes.

And this is how you feel about it. . . .

You are so happy! Even though you can't talk, I can feel you telling me how happy you are. They also told me that I can nurse you and I haven't given you a bottle since. Your Aunt Kathleen is an expert at teaching babies how to nurse and she gave me some pointers that worked. I love nursing you (you may not want to know that when you're older :) But it is so much better than pumping and bottle feeding in my opinion. I love the look on your face when you are all full. It says to me that you are so content and satisfied. It is the sweetest.

They also took off all of your bandages and said that you can take a bath. And you sure loved your first bath. It was so fun for me to watch you enjoy floating in the warm water.

Andrew, I hope you always remember what a special boy you are and how blessed you are to be born into a family with so many people that love you SO much. You have had hundreds of people praying for you. Many people that we don't even know heard about you and prayed for you.

This is your big brother Christian. He loves to put his finger in your binky and giggles, "Baby bite me". He smothers you with kisses and always wants to be near you.

This is your big brother Timmy. He is such a sweetheart and always likes to kiss you on your forehead, look into your eyes and tell you, "I love you so much". He also likes to call you Batman :)

This is your big sister, Bella. She thinks that she is your mom and wants to treat you like one of her baby dolls. She can't wait until you're a little bit bigger so she can play with you more.

This is your dad, Andrew. You are one a lucky boy to have such a wonderful dad. We are so blessed. This experience of watching you suffer through open heart surgery has helped us to love each other even more than we already did. We have prayed and talked a lot about you and your Dad has been so involved in your care always making sure that you received the best. When one of your nurses wasn't up to par, he talked to someone about the things she had done wrong and made sure that she wouldn't be assigned to be your nurse again. He asked the doctors and nurses SO many questions to make sure he understood everything that was happening to you. He took off work to come and sit with you. He took good care of me, too. He made sure I had enough water (and slushies from the free slushy machine :). He gave me lots of hugs and always made sure I was feeling OK. I love your Dad so much and don't know what I did to deserve such sweet guy.

This is your Grammie. She has been here helping Mommy by cleaning and taking care of your brothers and sister so that I can spend more time taking care of you and sleeping. She even cleaned throw up and poop in the bath tub! She loves you so much and prayed a lot for you. She loves every chance she gets to hold you and cuddle with you.

This is your Papa. He's my Dad and I love him so much. He loves you, too, and he came many times to visit you at the hospital. He helped give you a blessing and prayed and fasted for you. He came and sat with us while you were in surgery. He has always been there for me when I have needed him and he will be there for you. He loves to play with his grandkids and was very proud to tell everyone that you are his 60th!

And this is your Nannie. I have a special place in my heart for her because she is my mommy. She provided me with a home full of love and happiness and was always there to make me feel better when I was sad. I have never met anyone who can show so much love to as many people as she can. She delayed her trip to Hawaii to take care of your siblings so I could stay at the hospital with you. Your Nannie LOVES babies and she can't wait to shower you with hugs and kisses.

Always remember how loved you are! I am so glad you're mine.

Love,

Mom

Look No Tubes!

2010-06-05T21:54:00.001-07:00

He still has to be on oxygen, but we were switching the tube and took some pictures of him without it.

I took Andrew in the shower with me today which was officially his first bath ever (meaning getting his whole body clean). They hooked him up to stuff right after he was born, so the most he has had is a sponge bath. It's so much fun to have a clean baby. He finally smells like he is supposed too, instead of antiseptic and Band-Aids. He loved the shower, by the way :)

Life at Home

2010-06-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

The boys have been having SO much fun helping Daddy do yard work.

Timmy LOVES watering the trees!

Christian came running inside to find his gloves and hat because Daddy had gloves on :)

Working Buddies

Sweet baby Andrew enjoys sleeping, eating and staring at himself in the mirror.

A couple nights ago I had a feeling to take out the feeding tube even though he wasn't eating the full amount he should have been yet. I just felt that it may have been hindering his swallowing efforts and when he cried it sounded like he was starting to get hoarse like a soar throat, which I thought was probably from the feeding tube. I knew I could put a new feeding tube in if I had to and so Marshall and I talked about it and decided to pull it out. He gulped down a bottle better than he ever had and I cried with joy and excitement. He continues to eat well and they come to weigh him every week. If he stops gaining weight, I will have to put the feeding tube back in, but I feel pretty confident we wont need to do that :)

The Scar

2010-06-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

Many people have asked me about his scar and how it will look when he's older. Most seem to be concerned if it will stand out and be noticeable. I usually don't know how to respond, because that has been the absolute least of my worries. In fact, I haven't spent a single second worrying about it. It's actually the opposite. I feel that his scar will be a good reminder to me and to him of the miracle of his life.

Our Savior, Jesus Christ, has scars in the palms of His hands, feet, and side in remembrance of the life that He gave for us. I would hope that Andrew's scar would be such a reminder for us of his life that was saved by the kind grace of God.

Every time I give him a bath and rub lotion on his chest, that scar will remind me to give thanks to God for the privilege of being his mother here on earth. I will remember to hug all of my kids a little longer for they are all a special gift. It will remind me to be more patient, to be in less of a hurry, and to treasure every moment with loved ones.

I am going to teach him to be so proud of that scar. This scar represents all of the people that Heavenly Father was able to work through to save his life. And when he is a teenager at the beach or a pool party, I hope he is the first one to rip off his shirt, confident and proud of the line running down his chest that says, "My life is a miracle, prayer works, God is good, I am here for a reason!" He will proudly declare, "I survived open heart surgery when I was just 4 days old! I would have died in 2 weeks if it wasn't for this scar."

A little bit of Heaven

2010-06-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

I feel a sense of relief and peace as I sit here with my sweet sleeping baby laying on my chest. We went to the pediatrician today and he has gained 9 ounces! I was so happy to hear that. I think a part of me was worried that he would have lost weight and they would have sent us back to the hospital. It lifted a huge burden to know that he is doing so well. He is slowly getting better with eating.

It was neat for me to see how the nurse treated him at the doctors office. She had heard all about him and with tears in her eyes went on and on about what a miracle he is. It brings me joy to hear about all of the people that his story has touched. I talked with her for a while about the whole experience. She asked me how I got through it. I told her that when I look at pictures now of him right after surgery, I get all choked up and don't even understand myself how I was able to do it. It just testifies to me that I was truly held up by a higher power. I know I received strength from above. This really is a special little guy and I am so grateful to be his mother. I would do it all over again for him. I love to watch him fall asleep, because he looks so happy dreaming with angels. Today he even laughed a little in his sleep. I will do my best to provide a home for him that is a little piece of Heaven. Where there is love, happiness, peace, security-a refuge from the storms of life. Sweet Dreams Andrew.

Catching Up!

2010-05-31T13:52:00.001-07:00

OK so a lot happened before baby Andrew was born that I never put on my blog. I'm going to do it really quick or else it will never get done. Starting off with EASTER!

We decorated yummy cookies!

and had so much fun dying hard boiled eggs! It was Christian's first time and he absolutely LOVED it!

We went to the grocery store with cousins, got our faces painted, and lots of candy!

Bella was the only one brave enough to have her picture taken with the Easter Bunny!

So excited to see all of our presents on Easter morning!

Later that afternoon we went to Nanny and Papa's for an Easter egg hunt with all our cousins.

Bella looking Beautiful as always!

Christian was SUPER excited with what he found!

Timmy and Bella found more eggs than we could count!

A fun trip to the creamery in provo with cousins Dallin and Luke. They live in Independence, MO so it was a special treat to spend time with them.

One lazy afternoon, I let Bella decorate my tummy :)

We celebrated my 31st birthday at the Olive Garden with my family.

I love my family. The best company in the world!

Bella had fun with the Olives.

Bella and Timmy had their first lemonade stand.

. . . and they discovered that warm cookies sell much faster than lemonade!

I was a cleaning maniac as I was getting ready for baby Andrew to arrive and Bella begged to help :) Good thing I got a picture of it because it only lasted a few minutes.

We love it when Aunt Sara invites us to go swimming in the hot springs pool.

Just a fun day making pizza!

Bella was so excited when her new gymnastics leotard arrived. She wanted to pose for the camera.

. . .and then Christian wanted a turn, too! :) He's so cute!

Happy Birthday Christian! French Toast for breakfast. He kept closing his eyes for all the pictures:)

He wanted a bug mountain cake.

and of course he wanted his party at Chuck E Cheese just like Bella!

The very next day, Marshall had his birthday! We went to Teppanyakis and it was quite the show. The kids loved the fire, well, except Bella. She hid under the table. After dinner Marshall and Timmy went to a motocross show (in the rain).

And a fun day at the park just 3 days before Andrew was born.

I love my kids!

Bringing Andrew Home

2010-05-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

We came home Thursday at about 2pm excited and a little nervous. I wrote up a schedule with everything on it that I was supposed to do and it left only 2 hour blocks of time to sleep. Friday, my neighbor Stacy watched the kids all day long and that was very needed. I am so grateful. I was able to focus on getting down this new routine and sleeping in between. Around 4pm Janet Lott from church came over and brought paper plates , bowls and silverware so that I wouldn't have to do the dishes. As she was telling me about all the people that wanted to help, I just started to cry. She gave me a big motherly hug. I am overwhelmed and so grateful at all the kindness pouring in. I am the kind of person that tries my best to make it on my own and don't really like to ask for help. So in this situation, where I pretty much know I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, I feel humble, grateful, and emotional.

Marshall got home at 6 and someone brought us dinner. Marshall has been so great. He takes care of the other kids, does the dishes, lets me sleep, and doesn't complain. Last night he got up to do the 3am feeding so I wouldn't have to, but I woke up anyway because I could hear Andrew crying.

Today was a good day. I feel like I am getting the hang of things. I have been a little sad Andrew won't eat better. We give him a bottle and what he wont eat we have to put through his feeding tube. I thought there would be a lot of improvement once we got home, but there wasn't. Well, not until this evening. I called my mom and told her about it and she suggested I try laying with him skin on skin when I feed him. It worked. The last 2 feedings we didn't have to use the tube and I am so excited! YAY!

Thursday night Bella had a gymnastics performance and I was so happy I got to go. My Dad came and stayed with baby Andrew while we went and watched Bella. It was really close and only 1/2 hour long.

Bella did an awesome job. She is a really good gymnast! Even though we missed the last 2 practices, she remembered the entire routine and didn't miss a beat!

I realized how hard this has all been on her this morning when she was crying for me from her bed and then, through her sobs, told me that she had a bad dream that we all left her and she "had to go to Nannie's and watch a movie." Her greatest fears right now are that we are going to leave her again. So sad, yet so sweet. I'm so glad we're all home together again.

Beautiful day

2010-05-22T23:06:00.001-07:00

Today was such a wonderful day. I felt emotions I don't know that I've ever felt before. This whole experience has has opened up a whole new level of emotion for me. I can't remember ever feeling so humble, so full of love and compassion for the parents, babies and children that surround me here at the hospital, so sure that God is in control, that He is good, full of mercy and love for His children. Tonight before Marshall left, he came into my sleep room with me and we prayed together. While I was thanking our dear Heavenly Father for all the people that have been praying for and loving our baby, I had a strong feeling that he also had SO many friends and relatives in Heaven loving him and caring for him. I felt very strongly that he has many angels with him including his grandparents that have already passed away. It's hard to put these feelings into words. It was a wonderful experience.

New Beginnings

2010-05-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time to write now, because I get to hold my little man. I think this video will give you an idea of how I feel. So happy. You can see it bigger on Facebook.

Hanging in there

2010-05-21T23:30:00.000-07:00

Just had a good ending to a hard day when 6 friends from my neighborhood stopped by for a visit. Marshall and I feel so grateful for such good friends that truly care and want to help in any way possible. It means so much to us to feel so much love coming from so many different sources. It was such a needed ending to a disappointing day.

I was SO excited to get to the hospital this morning because today was going to be the big day when they were going to take out his breathing tube and I would finally be able to hold him. He had done so well yesterday and they were sure he was ready. But when I got there they were doing an ultrasound on his belly and I heard the tech say, "there is something bizarre in his bladder." Not exactly the words I was hoping to hear. A couple more doctors came over to discuss his situation. They examined his kidneys because the numbers were showing that they weren't working like they were supposed too. It was decided that they needed to put another IV in his foot. He already has one in his other foot, in one hand and a pic line in his head. Poor baby. The new IV was for a medicine that will help the function of his kidneys. They decided to leave the "bizarre" thing in his bladder alone for now and hope that it is something that the body will reabsorb. It is probably something his body formed around the catheter as a protection and it got left behind when they pulled it out. Then, they were seeing bloody secretions coming out of his lungs from his breathing tube and decided it was too early to take it out. He was also in a lot of pain today because he had the hiccups a lot and it makes his chest move right where he is trying to heal. It was so hard to watch him cry and not be able to hold him and nurse him to make him feel better. I'm trying to be patient and hoping for a better tomorrow. I'm just so grateful he's alive. I was telling my friends tonight how proud I am of him. My baby lived through open heart surgery! I am so proud.

While the cat's away, the mice will play

2010-05-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

Looks like the kids have not been bored while we have been at the hospital!

They got to play at Paul(my brother) and Serena's house and slide on a HUGE slip-n-slide!

Timmy, cousins Jasmine and Esther, and Bella

Christian is getting some practice with his cousin Jane before his little brother comes home :) Isn't he cute?

Andrew(my brother) and Courtney took them up to Papa's lot and Timmy got buried alive!

Bella, Timmy, Christian and their cousin Zoey is laying in the front.

Christian is wondering what happened to his sister.

. . . and while they're having all that fun, we are hanging out here at the hospital.

Jason (cardiologist), Mandy, Marshall, Dr. Caza (Andrew's surgeon), and our nurse for the night.

The nurse gave baby a faux hawk :)

Andrew loved Bella's visit today and held her finger.

Bella rubbed his head softly.

One of the fun respiratory therapists.

Proud Papa with his 60th grandchild!

Sweet Joy

2010-05-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

Baby Andrew is now 8 days old and it amazes me to think of all that he has been through in such a short amount of time. Yesterday and today have been full of good news and I can't help but smile. I could never put it into words how grateful I feel. It's a feeling so overwhelming, and I almost feel unworthy for all the blessings I've been given. As I walk past the other babies and children in here, I am humble and solemn. Many of them are in a much worse situation than us. We truly have been blessed. The baby right next to Andrew is Gideon and he has already been here for 2 weeks. I feel compassion for his parents as they watched us come, get our problem resolved and are now preparing to leave, while they have to stay and keep waiting for any sign of progress. There are children in here who are terminal. Others come with heart defects that surgery can not fix. Many people are coming from St. George, Idaho or Montana and have to be separated from family. Other babies with TAPVR have had many more complications than Andrew, are much higher risk and have to have emergency surgery. Everything has just gone so well with Andrew. We haven't had any set backs. The hospital has become a sacred place for me where I feel close to God and am full of love, compassion and gratitude.

Some of the ways we have been blessed through this:

-So many people praying for us.

-We live near family.

-My mom and sis-in-law Courtney have been SO helpful watching the other kids.

-Marshall just got a job with great insurance and money will not be an issue.

-We got an AMAZING surgeon, Dr. Caza, who actually just got a patent for something that will help during heart surgery.

-We discovered what was causing Andrew's breathing problems fairly quickly before any permanent damage was done.

-He will most likely not need any future surgery.

-Dr. Caza said that after surgery he "will be just like me and you."

-We have had very caring nurses, doctors and social workers making sure we have everything we need.

-My body healed extremely fast from childbirth. After only a few days, I was feeling completely back to normal.

-We have such close access to this amazing hospital.

-The food here is really cheap.

-There has been a sleep room available for us every night we needed one.

-Marshall and I have been sealed in the Temple for time and all eternity and we know we will be together forever with our children.

Baby Andrew TAPVR open heart surgery @ 4 days old

2010-05-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

Sunday night I went to bed having contractions, thinking they would disappear again as I slept, but they didn't and my water broke at 6:30am. I jumped up and changed my clothes, excitedly woke up Marshall and told him it was finally time. We hurried over to the hospital and when they checked me I was dilated to a 4. They started me on antibiotics right away and then waited to see if my contractions picked up. Dr. Christensen came an hour later and said to go ahead and start me on pitocin too and I asked for an epidural. Then I just laid in bed while Marshall played nice music and conference talks from his laptop. After about an hour and a half on pitocin she came in to check me. Marshall had just called Kathleen to see if she could come to the hospital and help the labor move faster. The nurse was quite surprised to see the baby's head was about to come out. They rushed around and he was born very quickly after that. It was the best labor and delivery because I felt no pain, a lot of peace and I was able to watch the whole birth in a mirror. I loved it. When he came out he cried right away and they placed him right onto my tummy, but his cries soon turned into gurgles, grunts and struggles for breath. I placed my hand on his back to see if he was breathing at all.

The nurse took him and said, "we better get him crying." She took him to the crib and rubbed him off with the towel, and took his vitals. Then she came over to me and said, "I'm little worried about your baby. He is retracting a lot. I need to take him into the nursery." And off they went. I wasn't worried, just thinking about the Dr. giving me stitches. Marshall followed the baby into the nursery. My mom arrived shortly and was sad that she missed it, because it happened so fast she didn't have time to get there. I can't quite remember exactly how the rest played out but I was informed that the baby was on a CPAP machine and would probably need to be on it for an hour or two and that he would be fine. After a couple of hours they were able to put me in a wheelchair to go see the baby. I was so anxious to hold him and kept asking everyone how long it would be before I got to hold him. I never got a straight answer and it was always "Oh, maybe tonight, maybe in the morning". It was so hard to go back to my room without the baby so I spent most of my time in the nursery with him. They told me they were going to try to take the CPAP off at 1am so I stayed up until 1am to watch, but then they said he wasn't doing well enough to do it.

I tried to get sleep that night and went straight over to the nursery as soon as I woke up at about 7am. I asked how his night was and they said, "Not too good." Then as I sat there with him, I watched him struggle. His chest was retracting a lot. I sat with him while people scrambled around us. Then, the pediatrician comes over and tells me that he needs to be transferred by ambulance over to Utah Valley hospital because they have better breathing equipment. OK, I start walking back to my room to tell Marshall and as soon as I opened the door burst into tears. My sobs woke him up and he hugged me asking what was wrong. I could barely talk, but somehow he understood and we walked back to the nursery together. Tears streaming down my face, I watched them prepare him to leave. Because I spent the entire morning in there with him, I had had nothing to eat and was getting pretty weak. They gave me permission to leave early. They were supposed to keep watching me for 48 hours because of my risk of getting blood infections. I was grateful I wouldn't have to spend another night away from him, but I decided to take a nap before I left, while Marshall followed the ambulance over there. I managed to get a little sleep, took a shower and called Marshall to come back and get me. We still hadn't decided on the name and I wanted to do that before I left the hospital and also so that people could pray for him more specifically, by name. When Marshall came into my room, he told me that the baby would have to be at the Utah Valley hospital for at least 10 days! 10 days! AAAAHHHH! Things just kept getting worse. I could not bear to hear any more bad news. We sat on the bed together and prayed for our sweet baby and to know what his name should be. We had a list of about 5 names but the 2 we were mostly thinking about were Andrew David or Andrew Leo (Leo after my grandpa). We sat together and hugged and I said a prayer, or cried a prayer. I felt so close to Marshall and felt that one of the good things about this experience was that it would bring us closer in a way that nothing else could. During the prayer I felt that this baby was a strong boy and a fighter and that his name should be Andrew, which means warrior, and it also became clear to me that his middle name should be David, which means Beloved. He is our beloved warrior.

This spiritual, bonding experience with Marshall gave me strength and I was ready to go see my baby. I was trying to think of where I could stay in Provo in order to be close to my baby and was feeling that I would be able to handle this. We went straight up to the NICU and were greeted by a team of doctors and nurses surrounding our boy. The first person that spoke to us told us that there was something wrong with his heart and that he would have to be transported to Primary Children's. What! I thought it couldn't get any worse! I felt so weak and an overwhelming feeling of "I can't do this. I can't handle this. I'm not strong enough!" I wanted to crawl into a cave and hide until it was all over with and someone could just tell me what happened. I called my mom to tell her. I told her, "I don't think I can do this. I want to crawl into a cave." She said, "You have to. You can do it. You will do it. Somehow you will be able to do it." I knew that she was right and her words gave me strength and comfort. Finally a doctor came and explained to us that they had done an Echocardiogram and Andrew had a congenital heart defect and would have to have open heart surgery. He said it is possible that he won’t survive and it is a very complicated surgery. He left us sitting there in disbelief and Marshall and I walked over to look at our sweet baby. We hugged and cried. Up to this point Marshall had held it together really well. This was his breaking point and he let the tears come. They had us sit in a chair and wait while we watched the same LifeFlight team that brought him to Provo prepare to take him to Salt Lake. I went through tissue after tissue while we waited and watched. I called my mom again and explained to her in more detail the situation. They told us that we wouldn't be able to see him right away when they got to Primary Children's because they would have to get him all situated first. Even though I felt no hunger, I decided I’d better eat something, so we stopped at the cafe and I got a sandwich to eat on the way to Salt Lake.

When we arrived we found our baby looking more calm and stable than he had since he was born, which had a lot to do with what type of ventilator he was on. Before he was on one that was better for lung patients that vibrated his chest and they put him on one that was better for heart patients and it made him look like he was breathing normally. It became obvious to us that he was getting amazing treatment which made me feel a lot better. He had a whole team of cardiologists, nurses, and surgeons studying his case and fighting for his life. My mom and Alisa came up to see us. Two members from our bishopric came up to visit and they helped Marshall give me a blessing. It was a neat experience because there were 3 to 4 doctors gathered around Andrew discussing his case, but as soon as Marshall began to speak, the room went dead silent to me and all I could hear was Marshall's voice. He was very emotion as he blessed me with comfort, strength and peace. I love my husband so much and am so grateful for what an amazing person he is. I couldn't be more blessed. Around 11pm, one of the cardiologist fellows (almost a Dr.) explained to us a lot more clearly his situation and what they had to do surgically to fix it. He drew a picture. He made it seem a lot more straight forward and less risky than the first Dr. who had explained it to us. They told us that he wasn't as critical as he could be because so far it looked like he didn't have any obstructed veins in which case he would have to be rushed into surgery. Since he was stable, they were planning to wait until Friday for surgery. We felt comforted and more confident that he would make it through.

They gave us a room to sleep in at the hospital which only had a single bed in it and a chair. I had just had a baby the day before, a long and emotional day and now I got to share a single bed with my husband for the night. Marshall was going to try to sleep in the chair and let me sleep on the bed, but I wanted him to hug me first, so I scooted over until my back was laying up against the wall and he got in and we hugged. Well, he fell asleep and I was squished between him and the wall. I laid there for hours trying to fall asleep, but couldn't. I felt thirsty, but didn't want to get up and wander the hospital looking for water. My eyes hurt and were swollen from all my crying. I wished I had some ice to put on them, but I had no desire to leave this room by myself. I didn't want to wake up Marshall, so I snuck out of bed and thought I'd try to sleep in the chair. I tossed and turned in the chair for awhile and finally woke up Marshall in a lot of distress. I was so frustrated and tired. He went and got me some water and ice and then let me have the bed. He is so nice, but I still couldn't sleep.

At about 6, I decided to just go down and sit with the baby. I would be happier there anyway. I told Marshall he could have the bed back and to set his alarm to 9 because all the Dr.s would be coming by at 9:30. I had thought that I had gotten my tears all out, but boy was I ever wrong. As soon as I saw my baby, they began to flow again, even more then yesterday it seemed. I had just had a baby and was living on minimal food and sleep which made me extremely weepy. The nurse was so nice to me and asked me if I would like to change Andrew's diaper. What? me? I was thrilled and emotional and cried as I changed him. I have never been so happy to change a diaper. I pulled a chair over to his bedside and sat there stroking him. The nurse was so nice and turned him so that he was facing me. She told me that I could hold him later on after they finished some tests and I was so excited and anxious for that. But it ended up being a long wait because he had a lot of tests. They wanted to make sure that they saw all of his heart anatomy before the surgery.

But finally the time came that I was able to hold him. It was the best, but I probably went through a whole box of tissues. It felt so right to be holding him. This is where he was supposed to be - in my arms. While I was holding him, I knew that he was mine forever and not even death could take that away from me. I probably held him for an hour and a half before we left.

I knew I needed some sleep and proper nutrition to have the strength to handle the next few days. We came back to my mom's house and it felt so good to see my kids again. The first thing Bella and Timmy asked me when they saw me was, "Where is the baby?" I had some soup and water and then went up to take a nap and even though Christian had just woken up from a nap, he wanted to lay with me. We cuddled in bed and ended up sleeping for a couple hours. When I woke up, Christian was still laying next to me just staring off into space, which is not like him. I wondered if he was feeling sick. Marshall took him downstairs and then he threw up all over the kitchen floor. We cuddled him the rest of that night and I was glad I was home to comfort him when he wasn't feeling well.

The next morning when I woke up, I felt clean and rested and was anxious to get back to the hospital. I had a great day this day (Thursday), because they let me hold him for hours and hours since he would be going into surgery the next day. I felt so happy and didn't cry much this day, which probably had something to do with eating and sleeping. My Dad and some of my brothers came up to help give him a blessing before the surgery. The words Marshall spoke were perfect and I felt great peace, hope and comfort. That night they gave us a better room to sleep in and I slept until 4:30am.

I got up so that I could hold him a lot before he went to surgery. I got to hold him for two and a half hours before they took him. We kissed him goodbye and then followed him down the hall until they had to go one way and we had to go another. Now I began to cry and my insides felt like they were being ripped out. We went to the surgery waiting room, but I couldn't stand to be there more than 2 minutes. I wanted to be alone. I left and went to pump. I cried, pumped and read my scriptures for about an hour. Then I went back to our sleep room, turned off the lights, knelt down by my bed and poured out my soul in prayer for my baby. Then, I laid down and tried to sleep. I wished the Doctors could put me to sleep too during the surgery. Waiting was torture. I wanted to fast forward time. I managed to sleep for an hour and then just laid there in the dark as long as I could before I looked at the clock. Instead of thinking about him in surgery, I found solace imagining him when he was well. I pictured myself holding him, cuddling him, dressing him, changing his diaper, talking to him. I imagined him smiling at me. I decided it must be almost over, so I got out my phone to see what time it was. What! Only 10:00! I still had 2 more agonizing hours to go. I went to take a shower, but they were both taken, so I sat on the couch to wait. Marshall and my mom walked in the room. Marshall proceeded to give me an update, but I stopped him abruptly. I didn't want to hear any updates until it was, "The surgery was a success. His little heart is beating correctly on its own now." Marshall wanted me to go back to the surgery waiting room with him because he was saying the hardest part of the surgery was over, but I didn't want to until it was completely through. He went back and my mom decided to stay with me. I escaped to the shower. Letting the hot water run over me somehow eased the agony of what I was feeling. After about a half hour of that I went back to my sleep room where my mom was laying down. I took my time brushing my hair, putting on some lotion and make up and then felt that it was probably over and we could go back now. The surgeon took us back in a room and told us all that had happened in detail. His heart was stopped for 35 minutes. All the blood from his body was drained from him for 29 minutes. Can you tell why I didn't want updates during the surgery? I was comforted to know that everything went perfectly during the surgery, but a little nervous to hear the surgeon say that he would be in very critical condition for the next 48 hours. I guess I was hoping that after surgery we would be out of the dark, but I still had more waiting to do. I wanted to give the surgeon a big hug and tell him thank you for saving my baby's life, but holding back the tears all I could say was, "Thank you so much." I hope he could feel my sincerity. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all the doctors and nurses and the great care they have given to us.

Although they were wheeling Andrew back to the CICU they didn't want us to go see him for half an hour so they could get him situated. My mom, dad, Marshall and I went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. We were talking about the details of the surgery and how amazing it was what they could do. It was good to see him out of surgery knowing that it went well and that his heart was beating correctly now. It was hard to see how sick he looked though and to hear the surgeon say that his lungs were edemic and looked like diseased lungs right now. He said, "It's all up to him now. We just have to wait for him. We ask a lot of these little babies." I think he was telling me that I would need to be patient as Andrew's body worked through the trauma it had been through.

The hardest part was over, but we would still have a lot to endure. My parents left and Marshall and I sat with him a few hours. It had been a long couple of days and I decided to go home, rest, and hug my other kids. They would barely let me touch Andrew anyway because he was so fragile at that point. He was on a drug that kept him paralyzed so he wouldn't wiggle while he healed, sedated and on lots of pain medicine. It was hard to leave, but good to be home and cuddle with my other sweeties. I am so grateful to my mom and Courtney, my sister-in-law for watching them constantly so I wouldn't have to worry about them. Well, after a few hours of being home, I wanted to go back. Everyone was talking about different things, but all I could think about was Andrew and how I wanted to see him again. I had Marshall call the nurse to see how he was doing. She said he was stable but I still couldn't fall asleep. I got out the laptop and started to write and write so I wouldn't forget all of these details. I wrote until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

I woke up at 7:30 and went downstairs to eat breakfast with Bella and Timmy and then we sat and watched cartoons. I wanted to go to the hospital soon, but I let Marshall sleep more because he hadn't had much of that lately either. We finally left and stopped by our house to get some more clothes. I threw away a lot of rotten food from the refrigerator (we hadn’t been home for a week), packed some clean clothes and took care of a few other things. We finally got to the hospital and I didn't like what I saw. I stared at his little body, but it didn't look like he was in it. Even though his face was red, he looked dead to me. Courtney came back to see him. I told her that it didn't look like he was in there to me and she said, "Maybe he's not. Maybe Heavenly Father is giving him a break from all of this suffering." I felt the Spirit when she said that and it helped me feel peace. I went out to watch Andrew and Courtney's kids so that Andrew could come back to see baby Andrew. We went to have something to eat and when we came back, he didn't look that way to me anymore. From that point on I have only seen improvement.

Trip to Arizona

2010-03-31T04:42:00.001-07:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!"

2010-02-14T21:24:00.000-08:00

My Grandma Olsen had a tradition of throwing a valentine party at her house for all of her great-grandchildren. She asked that we continue to do it after she died in her honor. Here are some pictures from the party! We love you Grandma!

My cousin Angela's boys enjoying the yummy treats.

Amber Ellis was a great help and played Valentine BINGO with all the kids.

Alisa helped everyone make a picture frame and tape a picture of Grandma and Grandpa Olsen inside.

Here is Christian looking adorable.

Bella, Ashley Olsen, and Jasmin Olsen

Timmy making his heart picture frame.

Sara Olsen holding Alisa's baby Caleb Ellis

Avonlea Olsen and Grandpa Olsen

Angela had a guess who game and taught the kids about Grandma and Grandpa Olsen and their children.

Bella playing penny penny, where's the penny

Wendy told a story that Grandma always wanted us to remember. When her daughter Janis was young she had a kitten that got very sick. They took it to the vet, but he said it would die. They took it home and Janis said a prayer that the kitty would get well. Grandma felt badly because she thought Janis would loose her faith because she was sure the kitten was dying. Within a few hours the kitten was running and jumping all over the house as well as could be.

Playing penny penny. Lori Olsen and Amber Ellis helped the kids play some fun games.

Katie Ellis

Jake Olsen

Savannah Ellis giving us a cute smile.

At the end we all watched a video of Grandma and sang her favorite song, "The Armies of Heleman" Grandpa Olsen said that he could feel that she was there.

Good times

2010-02-14T21:12:00.001-08:00

Rub a Dub Dub Three Bare's in a tub!

SUPER BABY!!!

We had a picnic at the park, since the snow is melting and the camera battery died before I could get a picture of all the kids.

Isabel's birthday party!

We made her a sign to decorate her door, just to make sure all her friends knew that it was her birthday :)

Christian is very happy after having oreos and milk. . YUM

A few video clips from Christmas 2009

2010-02-14T20:53:00.000-08:00

Time to catch up!

2010-02-14T18:39:00.000-08:00

We have had A LOT more snow since my last post. It is actually already melting! So I guess it's about time I post some pictures.

After the first snow melted, we spent a day at the park playing in all the leaves. We had so much fun!

We are so grateful to live in a place with such a beautiful, peaceful view!

Christian is pointing to an airplane flying by.

Always cute trying on Daddies hats.

We were SO excited this month to welcome my dear friend from Brazil, Isabel, into our home. She was able to stay with us a couple weeks before starting school at BYU. This was her first snowman ever.

A visit to see the beautiful temple!

I had to out do my brother Phillip, because he made fun of our first small snowman. I had to prove that we do know how to make snowmen around here!

Snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-14T22:13:00.000-08:00

OK, so although it wasn't much, we still managed to have fun in the snow this morning.

Bella making a snow angel

Christian having fun

We tried really hard to get as much snow as we could for a snowman and this is as tall as we could do : )

Bella was REALLY proud of her work!

Breakfast in Bed

2009-11-05T07:01:00.000-08:00

Bella FINALLY got her breakfast in bed. She is always the first one awake and always has the idea to make others breakfast in bed. The last couple of days she has been telling us that she tries really hard to stay asleep so we can make her breakfast in bed. She said, "Everyone has had breakfast in bed, except for me." So this morning, I jumped up as soon as I heard her and told her to go back to sleep. She knew what was going on and pretended to be asleep. She was very happy and cute.

Halloween

2009-11-02T21:33:00.000-08:00

Christian wearing several pairs of Timmy's underwear and Mommy's high heels

2009-10-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

Show Offs!!

2009-10-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

OK So we have gone to the Rodeo the last 2 years and they have had a Motocross Show. I spied Timmy trying out some of their tricks! At first he wouldn't pose for me but when he saw the picture, he wouldn't stop posing for me. "Hey, mom. What about this? And what about this?" He would say as he was posing for a picture. It was so cute.

And of course Bella had to show us that she could do it too!

And the most adorable thing in the world was when I noticed Christian trying it too! So cute! I wish you could have seen it live! : )

We can even do it . . . Synchronized !!!!

Bella's Song

2009-09-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

It's been too long so here are some pictures for an update

2009-09-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

We took a trip to Oregon and Washington in August for a Bare Family Reunion that was a lot of fun. We mostly used our video camera so I don't have many pictures.

The Dad's all helped the kids make these boats so they could float them in the water. It was so much fun!

Here we are taking a ride on Uncle John's fast boat! Brian took us to check his crab pots and the kids thought it was the coolest thing ever.

These are a few of Marshall's cousins and Aunt and Uncle. Above them is his Grandmother's house where we stayed with the gorgeous view.

Here we are above with Marshall's Dad and below with his Grandma.

Here is Christian looking at something on our roadtrip.

After our trip to Washington, we went to Oregon to visit Grammie and Grandpa, but I only took video there. We had a lot of fun going to the Carousel, feeding the cows, and fish, and just hanging out.

We recently went to Thanksgiving Point and got to milk this cow. It was pretty fun and exciting to milk a cow!

These next pictures are just random pictures I took while the kids were playing outside.

Christian was taking a nap.

Timmy's Birthday Highlights video

2009-07-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Timmy's Birthday!!

2009-07-30T21:16:00.000-07:00

Yay! Timmy's birthday was so much fun! I was really happy how the cake turned out. I know I'm not a professional by any means, but he LOVED it and that's what I was shooting for! It was so much fun to create something just for him - with EVERYTHING on it that he loves. It was missing a motorcycle because his was too big, but that was made up for when he got 6 motorcycles as presents!

He liked his cake so much, he just sat there and stared at it for at least half an hour. And when I wasn't looking he tried driving the fire truck across the frosting : )

He got a new bike that looks like a dirt bike and he's already a pro at riding it.

I have lots of video of his fun party, since we found a great camera in our price range. YAY!!! I am working on putting it together now and will post it soon : )

No Camera

2009-07-25T23:03:00.001-07:00

I am so sad we still don't have any cameras because I love taking pictures and video. That is why I haven't been updating my blog. The good quality cameras are just so expensive. We tried the cheapest one they had at Costco, $200, but the quality was horrible. We took it back and upgraded to the next one which was $370. It was OK, but still worse quality then our last camera, which I loved. I just can't have poor quality video because I love to make the movies. I also tried a cheap still camera but the quality is so bad. I would love to just splurge and get some super nice cameras since it's my favorite hobby, but it's just so hard to spend so much money. We are torn and don't really know what to do. I have been taking some pictures on Marshall's phone but I'm not sure how to get them off.

Anyway, a quick update. . . I got a new calling at church in the primary and I love it because I get to be with all the kids. Bella and Timmy LOVE for me to be their "teacher". The kids are so wonderful and adorable as ever (hence, more sadness for lack of camera:) Some fun quotes lately have been:

We ran out of milk and and Bella said, "Why don't we just get us a couple cows so they can pee us milk whenever we want?"

Timmy, "Mom, eating macaroni makes me have a baby in my tummy."

Christian, "Woa!" while pointing to anything he thinks is neat. He can also say "thank you" and "bye" now.

Bella loves to write. She got tired of asking me how to spell everything so she just started copying everything from magazines and books. For example, she already knows how to write, "I love" so then she found pictures of things with the words next to them and would write it. She brought us a paper that said: "I love hockeystick, I love screwdriver, I love wrench. . . . and on and on. It was so cute. She also is our spiritual one. She always wants to watch "Jesus movies" (any movie that has Jesus in it or teaches a scripture story) and she prays about EVERYTHING. If we can't figure something out or find something, she always says we need to pray. Just 2 days ago, my ears got all clogged up and started driving me crazy. She said a prayer that they would get better and she also prayed that Timmy would stop driving his truck in the hot chocolate that had spilled on the table : ) I didn't think much of her prayer except that it was cute and thought I'd help God out a little and wipe up the chocolate milk. Well, as I was rinsing the rag out in the sink, I realized that my ears felt better. She has a lot of faith : )

She is also learning how to play the piano and can play 3 or 4 songs.

Timmy is still obsessed with motorcycles, helicopters, trucks . . . He has to have one with him everywhere he goes. He is actually flying around an airplane with a spiderman pilot as I write. He is starting to get into Batman, Spiderman, and Superman. Timmy is so sweet. He showers me with kisses and praise. He says, "You're my best mommy" at least 10 times a day. (He just came and kissed me on the arm 4, 5, now 6 times as I write this. . .9) He loves to say "I love you . . . " and then fill in the blank with anything silly like - "I love you oatmeal or I love you dump truck" and he thinks he is so hilarious. He is a very sensitive boy and will cry over things like spilled milk, not being able to get his food on his fork, or forgetting his motorcycle at home. But he doesn't throw a fit, it is more of a sincere sad cry. He really is adorable and cute. We just hope he wants to be a big boy soon and go potty in the toilet : )

Christian is just precious. His smile melts my heart every time. He is still nursing a little and I'm getting ready to stop but it is SO hard because he is so cute the way he begs for it. If I try to give him a bottle, he just throws it across the room and tugs on my shirt. So cute. Well, it might not sound that cute to you, but it is : ) He now has 3 teeth with two on the way. He is a great sleeper and cuddler. He is so much fun to play with because he laughs so much and gets so excited. He loves it when I chase him around the room. One night I just started running around the couch and he thought it was the best thing ever. He loves to listen to music and to dance. He does pretty good with stairs now and he also likes to play on the slide.

Marshall has been working really hard. He is doing great. He puts in a lot of hard work but still tries hard to spend lots of time with us. He has been helping out around the house a lot lately and I'm not really sure what happened but he's been cleaning the kitchen A LOT lately. A man who cleans the kitchen can be quite attractive you know : ) The other night, the kids all went to bed early and we got to sit outside on the swing in perfect weather for a long time and read and talk together. It was so nice. Our DogSpotlights.com website is looking great and we are getting excited for Santa letters this year hoping to quadruple our sales : ) And our Google gadgets are still bringing in the majority of our income.

Bella

2009-06-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

Bella told me exactly how I needed to do her hair this morning and then she posed in front of the computer for some pictures.

Love it

2009-06-04T00:05:00.000-07:00

I love it when Timmy calls an umbrella a "Gorilla" and an elevator an "Alligator"

Marshall corrects him but I don't want him to learn the right word because I think it's so cute. I think I'll be sad when he starts saying it correctly. Like when Bella stopped saying "Choc O" for chocolate. Oh Yea! Just a few days ago Bella told me that I had a lot of "frazzles" (freckles) on my face. "Millions of them" she said.

Disneyland

2009-05-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been meaning to put these pictures up for awhile now. So, finally, here they are!

We were blessed to go to California for 2 weeks and had an amazing time. We all loved it so much!

Most of these are pictures from Disneyland. Sadly, a few days into our trip, I was swimming with the three kiddos, (Marshall was going to be coming down in a minute) and I looked up from the pool to watch the stroller (in slow motion) roll into the water. There was a slight breeze and I guess, without us noticing, it was slowing moving closer to the pool. The sad part is that my phone and both of our cameras were inside of the stroller! My phone ended up working a few days later, but our cameras are still broken. I think I will buy some new ones tomorrow, because that is just something I cannot live without. Everything since then has been, "Oh, I wish I had a camera for that! and Wouldn't that be a cute picture?"

The pictures below are a combination of a disposable camera we bought and the ones the disney employees took (which are small, because we only got the thumbnails from their site).

This is The Fairy Godmother. We saw her walking quickly and ran to say Hello. She was so nice and took Bella by the hand and said, "Let's go for a walk."

They loved it!

We waited in line for an hour to see the princesses, but it was worth it :)

. . . and Timmy fell in love :)

Our cute boys driving in Toontown

This was at the parade. They chose Bella to dance with them! Fun Fun!

Bella picked a flower for Minney while we were waiting in line. Bella's favorite part of Disneyland was definitely meeting all the characters, while Timmy's was the roller coasters. Marshall snuck him on a couple that he really wasn't tall enough for shhhh. . .

Timmy also kissed Lightning McQueen :) Snow White wasn't the only lucky one.

OK now for the horrible pictures from the disposable camera! So sad! Christian's first birthday and this is what we get! If you look very closely, you can see him digging in :)

His cake.

As soon as we get a new camera, I am planning on doing a re-do of his 1st birthday, because these pictures just wont cut it!

Marshall, on the other hand, will probably be fine with these for his 35th :)

as you can see, Timmy was not thrilled that we woke him up for the party. And Bella was our photographer which explains why Marshall's head is cut off :)

Happy Birthday Christian and Marshall! I love you both SO much!

Marshall, thank you so much for being such a wonderful husband. I love how I discover how perfect you are for me more and more all the time. I am so grateful that I was blessed with you! Thank you!

and sweet baby Christian, You have brought SO much joy and happiness to us! You have been smiling since you were three days old and you haven't stopped! I love seeing your smiling face in the morning or after a nap. Then, I have to just hug you and kiss you all over because you are so darn cute! What a prize we have been given! I hope you always know how much your mommy loves you and how grateful she is for you!

Just like you, Mom

2009-05-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

Today after church Bella and I sat alone at the table eating some burritos and she said, " Mom, when I grow up, I want to be just like you." I was a little surprised by that and asked her if someone told her to say that. She replied, "No one. I was just thinking."

Well, that melted my heart. Now I just need to be someone worth being like.

Today we both wore matching dresses and fixed our hair the same, so maybe that is what got her thinking about it. We looked pretty cute, but I didn't have a camera to take a picture.

SEA WORLD

2009-04-29T22:51:00.000-07:00

We thought the big fish were cool. This one really liked us. He just sat there staring at us forever :)

Christian was just adorable at Sea World. He got so excited about everything. I wish I had got his reaction to Shamu on film. As soon as Shamu came out Christian started squealing and flapping his arms up and down. It seemed like he wanted to jump out of my arms and go give Shamu a hug.

We loved the Dolphin show!

Timmy found a COOL mirror that made him look funny :)

YAY! The rides are so much fun!

We all LOVED Sea World so much and can't wait to go back!

Some sandy fun

2009-04-29T22:41:00.001-07:00

First days in California

2009-04-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

Just kickin back in the jacuzzi

Here I come!

The Happy Boys!

Two water babies in the hot tub :) We're happy the kids are allowed to get in.

Timmy plays it save by staying on the steps

We bought this little floater for Christian but he doesn't like it. He just wants to be held.

The Resort is in the background. We are on a pier that has a restaurant at the end of it. They say you can see Dolphins and Sea Lions from the pier but we just saw a lot of fish. We'll probably eat at the restaurant for Marshall's birthday.

Thank you Grammie for the fun vacation! We are already having so much fun and it's just beginning!